Senin, 26 Oktober 2009

Bungklang Bungkling: ALIH-ALIHAN

Diambil dari kolom ‘Bungklang Bungkling’, ‘Alih-Alihan’, di harian Bali Post, Minggu, 18 Oktober 2009, oleh I Wayan Juniartha. Diterjemahkan oleh Putu Semiada




Dukun Jadi-Jadian

Setiap habis upacara besar, orang Bali banyak yang sakit. Belum satu minggu Galungan berlalu, krama (warga) peminum tuak sudah pada kelimpungan. Ada yang sakit kepala, mencret, sakit pinggang, ada juga tangannya yang sakit.
Kalau sudah sakit, apalagi dekat hari raya, pasti banyak yang mengaku kalau mereka kena leak (ilmu hitam).
“Seingatku aku dicolek sama Dadong Senggol pada saat berdesakan di pura. Dadong adalah penjual perlengkapan leak, dia bukan saja mempraktekkan ilmu hitam, tapi juga jual beli ilmu leak. Habis dicolek, aku langsumg mencret dan muntah-muntah. Sepertinya dia tersinggung karena aku tidak mau diajak selingkuh dengan dia,” kata I Made Basang Bedag (Made Perut Besar).
Jika kita tumben mendengar perkataan Made mungkin kita bisa menjadi muak. Wajahnya jauh dari ganteng tetapi dia mengira dirinya mirip Arjuna. Perutnya besar. Hanya kepalanya saja yang lebih besar dari perutnya.
“Wah, aku juga sempat disenggol sama si nenek itu di areal luar pura. Sehari sesudahnya tanganku langsung sakit,” kata I Nyoman Mulut Aungan. (Nyoman Mulut Besar)
Wah, kalau aku sempat dipelototi sama Ni Luh Genyol, dagang babi guling di jaba (luar) pura. Malamnya aku tidak bisa tidur Karena pinggangku sakit sekali. Aku tidak habis pikir. Masak karena aku sering tidak bayar dia langsung memakai kekuatan ilmu hitamnya.
Mereka yang mendengarnya pada tertawa semua mendengarnya. Sebentar lagi orang-orang Amerika akan sampai di Mars, sementara orang Bali masih sibuk membicarakan leak.
“Bukannya leak itu tidak ada, tapi kasus kalian bertiga sama sekali tidak ada hubungannya dengan leak. Kasihan aku sama leaknya, kamu terus menjadikannya kambing hitam, kata I Pekak Pocol Ongol-Ongol.
Mulai dari hari Penampahan sampai Pahing Galungan, I Made kuat sekali makannya, semua jenis lawar, mulai dari lawar nangka, lawar kacang panjang, daun blimbing sampai papaya disikatnya. Belum lagi gorengan, komoh (sup), kacang goreng, bir semuanya masuk ke dalam perutnya.
Mulai Penampahan sampai Pahing Galungan, Nyoman tidak putus-putusnya mengadu ayam. Dia punya ayam jantan 12 ekor, semuanya dibawa ke judi sabungan ayam yang tidak legal tetapi resmi (tidak legal karena tidak ada payung hukumnya, resmi karena sudah memberikan sumbangan ke desa lewat pecalang yang sekaligus menjadi tukang parkir di jaba (halaman luar) pura. Paginya Wayan sibuk berjudi sabungan ayam, malamnya sibuk berjudi bola adil. Memang Wayan ini termasuk penjudi kawakan. Sialnya umurnya sudah tua. Akibatnya sekarang, tangannya pada sakit.
Mulai Penampahan sampai Pahing Galungan pula, Wayan kerjanya cuma duduk. Paginya dia membuat lawar, siangnya dia di warung, malamnya dia main judi kartu Cina. Makanya dia menderita sakit pinggang.
“Tidak mungkin itu. Tidak mungkin main ceki membuat sakit, malah membuat senang. Aku memang benar-benar kena ilmu hitam. Aku akan segera ke balian sakti dan minta obat dan ‘penyengker’ (penjaga),” kata Wayan.
Mereka tertawa semakin keras.
“Kamu mestinya ke dokter. Kalau sakit medis, dibawa ke balian itu sama saja dengan buang-buang duit,” kata Pekak lagi.
Apalagi jaman sekarang banyak sekali, Balian Alih-alihan (jadi-jadian), jadi balian supaya mendapat penghasilan. Balian jenis ini hanya ingin memenuhi dompetnya sendiri.
Sekarang makin banyak saja saudara kita yang menjadi balian dibandingkan menjadi dokter. Sebab kalau ingin menjadi dokter, mesti bersekolah dahulu delapan tahun, kalau mau jadi balian cukup bisa akting ‘kerauhan’, rambut panjang, kumis tebal, jenggot putih, dan pura-pura berwajah pandai dan bijak,” kata I Pekak.
Kalau jadi dokter memang susah. Kalau salah memberi obat, bisa dituntut oleh pasien. Tapi jika balian salah memberi obat, tidak ada yang berani ribut, karena balian hanya menjalankan ‘pawisik’ dari leluhur.
Tidak ada balian yang rugi. Kalau pasiennya tidak sembuh-sembuh, baliannya akan mengaku bahwa yang bikin sakit sangat tinggi ilmunya, sehingga perlu ‘caru’ (upacara) dan ‘penyengker’ (penjaga) yang lebih hebat dan mahal. Jika pasiennya mati, itu karena memang kehendak Widhi. Jika pasiennya bisa sembuh, maka pejati (persembahan) akan terus diantarkan ke balian sebagai balas budi.
Mulai dari menjual sarana upacara, penghasilan balian jadi-jadian sudah lumayan. Apalagi kalau baliannya punya warung kopi dan arak. Dia bisa minta pasiennya mempersembahkan kopi atau arak untuknya. Dengan demikian balian akan cepat kaya.
“Apalagi kalau balian punya toserba, yang dilengkapi kekuatan ‘penglaris’, ‘penjaga’ dan lain-lainnya. ‘Penjaga’ yang paling murah saja harganya bisa dua jutaan. Tidak ada garansinya lagi. Kalau tidak sengaja terbawa ke kamar mandi, maka langsung hilang kekuatannya. Jadi harus membeli lagi.
Jika, Made, Nyoman dan Wayan berobat ke balian jadi-jadian, pasti akan hilang mencret, sakit tangan maupun sakit pinggangnya. Tapi ketiganya nanti bisa menyesal karena isi dompetnya habis.
Jaman sekarang lebih baik dimakan leak dari pada tidak punya uang.

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Fake Healer

Usually after a big ceremony, many Balinese get sick. Just one week after Galungan, many of the drinking club looks very tired. Some have problem with their stomachs, some with their backs, and some have headache.

When they get sick, especially a couple days before a ceremony, they will say that their sickness due to leak (black magic).

“Dadong (grandma) Senggol touched me when we were at the temple. Dadong is known as a black magic woman. She is a very powerful magic woman, and she is in black magic business too. Having touch by her, I vomited and had diarrhoea. She was mad at me because I didn’t give attention to her flirting,” says I Made Basang Bedag (I Made Big Bully).

If you hear Made talking for the first time you might get sick of his talking. He looks very ugly but thinks as if he is a good looking man. He is very fat.

“So did I. She touch me at the outer temple courtyard. The following day, I had pain in my hand, says I Nyoman Bungut Aungan (I Nyoman Big Mouth).

“I have different story. Once Ni Luh Genyol, the suckling pig seller, stared at me at the outer temple courtyard. Then at nigh I couldn’t sleep. I had pain at my waist. I know that I often don’t pay after I eat there. I don’t think it is the reason she sent black magic to me.

Everybody laugh having heard what Made, Nyoman, and Wayan were saying. They think that Americans have talked about travelling to Mars while we Balinese still talking about leak.

“I know that black exists, but your cases are nothing to do with black magic. I don’t understand you keep blaming black magic, says I Pekak Pocol Ongol-Ongol (I Pekak Nod-off).

Two days before Galungan Holiday until one day after, Made had eaten lots of lawar (Balinese mix vegetable with meat). He also ate satay, steam pork, crackers, peanuts and he drank beer as well. That’s why he had problem with his stomach.

Nyoman, on the other hand had been busy gambling until one day after Galungan. He had 12 roosters. All of them had been sent to ‘semi-legal’ cockfighting arena (‘semi legal because it breaks the laws but allowed by the village council because the cockfighting committee paid donation to the village through ‘pecalang’ (the village vigilantes who has a job as parking attendants as well) at the outer temple courtyard. In the morning Nyoman did cockfighting, so does he in the afternoon and other type of gambling during the night. He is a real gambler actually. But is too old now. And he has rheumatic.

From Penampahan Galungan (one day before Galungan day) until Pahing Galungan (one day after Galungan) Wayan had been sitting when he did his activities. In the morning he made ‘lawar’, he sat in the warung during the day, and all nights he played Chinese cards. That’s why he has problem with his waist now.

“No way. No way that cockfighting and playing Chinese cards make you suffer pain in your waist. Instead, it makes you happy all the time. I think I am sure my sickness is because of leak. I am going to a powerful healer to ask for a something that can protect me me from leak,” Wayan argues.

Everybody laughs.

“You should go see a doctor. If you go to a healer when you have problem with your health, well you do useless thing,” Pekak gives opinion.

You know, there are many fake healers now in Bali….They become healer just for money. You should be careful with this kind of healer.

“There are more of our brothers become healers (balian) because it is much easier for them to be a healer than to be a doctor. If you want to be a doctor you must go to university and study there for eight years. But if you want to be a balian, what you need is a bit of talent to act as if you were in trance sometimes, you should have thick moustache, long beard and some other pretending behaviour,” says Pekak.

To be a doctor is difficult. If you give the patient wrong medicine, they might send you to jail, but if you were a balian and you give the patient wrong treatment, they won’t blame you, because they believe you are under the god guidance.

Balians will never suffer loss. If the patient is not getting well, he will make an excuse that the balian who makes the patient sick, is much more powerful than him. That’s why bigger ‘caru’ ceremony and more powerful ‘penyengker’ (magical borderline) along the patient’s house wall) is needed. If the patient dies, he will say that’s the God’s will. If the patient can get well, the family of the patient will keep bringing ‘pejati’ (present) to the balian house for his service.

From selling offering, a fake balian can make good fortune. He can even earn more money if he has a warung selling coffee and arak (palm wine) because he can ask the patients or their family to bring him a cup of coffee or arak that they can buy from his warung. He will be very rich soon.

And if the balian also runs a supermarket which protected by magical power that makes people like shopping there, he will be rich much faster. You know the cheapest ‘penyengker’ (black magic thing that can protect you from bad influences or make your own business runs good) is Rp. 2 millions. It has no guarantee. You can not bring it with you when you go to bathroom otherwise you have to buy a new one because it will loose its power.

If Made, Nyoman, and Wayan decide to go the healer, they might get well soon, but they will regret when they find out their money will be finished.

So nowadays for Balinese, it’s better to deal with leak than have no money.