Selasa, 27 April 2010

Bungklang Bungkling: SRO(M)BOTAN

Diambil dari kolom ‘Bungklang Bungkling’, ‘SRO(M)BOTAN’, di harian Bali Post, Minggu, 25 April 2010, oleh I Wayan Juniartha. Diterjemahkan oleh Putu Wiwid Budiastra.



SRO(M)BOTAN
Pada saat musim pilkadal (pemilihan kepala kadal) sebenarnya siapa membohongi siapa?
Politisinya yang membohongi rakyat? Apa rakyatnya yang memperdaya para kandidat?
Asli politisinya yang membohongi rakyat, mengobral-obral janji. Kalau janji-janji itu kita resapi, rasanya yang bicara itu seolah Bhatara Indra yang bisa membuat bumi ini menjadi surga,” begitu kata I Made Apatis Celengis.
Sekehe tuak sedang demam pilkadal. Walaupun sedang hujan disertai angin seakan bumi mau kiamat, tetapi mereka tetap antusias menyaksikan acara debat kandidat di tv. Apalagi sekarang warung tuak sudah tidak terkena cipratan hujan. Ada dua baliho raksasa di depan warung, jadi hujan kalah melawan tampang kandidat yang saling adu ketampanan.
Jika di amati dari janji mereka, rasanya di bumi ini tidak akan ada orang miskin, semua masyarakat sejahtera, bumi makmur, tidak akan ada banjir, tidak ada bencana, semua tersenyum-bahagia,” kata I Made menambahi.
Rasanya semasa Sang Yudistira menjadi raja di Astina tidak ada bumi semakmur itu. Apalagi sekarang, semenjak banyak politisi yang berlagak Yudistira namun sifat dan sikapnya seperti Dursasana.
Benar itu , sekarang banyak polisi yang jago akting, sudah seperti pragina (artis). Jika isu budaya sedang hot, semua berpidato mengaku paling ahli dengan budaya. Jika isu pertanian menjadi isu penting, semua mengaku punya program pertanian paling bagus. Kakinya kena lumpur saja tidak pernah, bagaimana mau bicara soal pertanian?” I Wayan Praktis Kritis mendukung I Madé.
Jadi bila kita perhatikan, janji dan program mereka semuanya sama. Politisi seperti sedang membuat srombotan (makanan tradisional khas Klungkung, Bali), disini ambil sedikit, disana ambil sedikit.
Kesimpulannya, rasanya sama, yaitu pedas. Kalau itu dimakan oleh masyarakat, asli, keesokan harinya, semua berlari menuju toilet; diare akut.
Di samping itu, semua kandidat berlomba menjajikan uang kepada masyarakat. Mulai dari desa pekraman, banjar, subak, sekehe taruna (muda-mudi), PKK, sampai koperasi ingin dijejali uang. Dari yang baru lahir sampai yang sudah mati ingin diberi uang.
Kalau begini ceritanya, semua warga pasti akan berlomba membuat anak, berlomba menyuruh kakek-nenek mereka supaya cepat-cepat kembali ke akhirat.
Mereka tidak tahu, orang Bali kurang bisa mengelola uang. Tidak ada uang saja mereka sibuk memugar balai banjar, ingin balai banjar yang bertingkat. Apalagi kalau kalau sudah dapat bagian uang, pasti banyak hal yang ingin di pugar. Mungkin suatu hari sampai kuburan pun bisa dipaving.
Jani-janji uang inilah yang membuat warga menjadi manja, menjadi suka menadahkan tangan. Hari-hari berikutnya urusan facial ke salon, urusan menarik arisan, urusan memodifikasi mobil, bisa minta bantuan dari pemerintah juga.
Tunggu dulu, kenapa politisinya saja yang kita salahkan? Bukannya warga kita juga yang suka membohongi, yang matanya hijau kalau melihat uang, yang memang suka menjadipengemismanja,” I Ketut Towal Towel pura-pura bertanya.
Lusa kan Bli Made yang melihat saya menghadap ke kantor bupati untuk menyerahkan proposal bansos, janji mau memberi dukungan 2000 persen untuk incumbent. Lalu, kemarin saya lihat Bli Madé ke calon yang lagi satu. Katanya Bli disana minta baliho, baju kaos, uang nasi bungkus untuk simpatisan, juga biaya operasional untuk mengadakan rapat. Bagaimana itu Bli, kenapangajet ngaper” (rakus) begitu?” I Ketut mencela.
Krama (anggota) sekehe tuak yang lain pada tertawa kecil. I Made pura-pura tidak menjawab. I Wayan langsung tutup mulut. Maklum dia baru tadi pagi membawa proposal atas nama sekehe ceki (perkumpulan pemain kartu cina) ke kantor walikota. Meminta sumbangan untuk penyelenggaraan Festival Ceki Bukan Judi Hanya Seni Untuk Menghibur Hati. Asli, proposalnya sudah di mark-up. Jika jadi diberi bantuan, I Wayan akan mampu membeli motor Vario baru.
Jangan terlalu suka menyalahkan orang Bli, mari introspeksi diri dulu. Kalau memang kita semua disini orang bersih, toh kenapa juga kita semua banyak yang memakai baju kaos?”
Semua warga sekehe tuak tertawa terbahak-bahak. Semenjak mulai musim pilkadal, warga sekehe tuak memang selalu memakai baju kaos berlapis tiga, berbeda warna, berbeda gambar maupun nomornya. Yang dipakai paling luar hanya kaos resmi warga sekehe tuak. Maklum kalau sudah musim pilkadal banyak terjadiserangan malam”: tim sukses yanag malam-malam mengedarkan uang BLT ( Bantuan Limang Talibantuan lima ribu Rupiah) dan Bansos ABT (Bantuan Anggo Meli Soto tur Arak, Bir ,Tuakbantuan untuk membeli soto dan arak, juga bir atau tuak).
Jadi jika tim sukses kandidat Coblos Kumisnya datang, kita tinggal buka baju sekeha tuak, sehingga baju yang bergambar Si Kumis langsung kelihatan. Kalau tim sukses kandidat Kaca Mata yang datang, tinggal membuka dua baju kaos. Maka langsung gambar Si Kaca Mata yang kelihatan. Nah, kalau istrinya yang datang, ya kita buka semua baju kaosnya.” Kata I Made sambil cekikikan.
Kesimpulannya, kalau sudah musim pilkadal, politisi dan masyarakat saling membodohi. Politisi membuat srombotan, sedangkan masyarakat main srobot.

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‘Sro(m)botan’ (Balinese Mixed Vegetable)
There has been a question during local election: who cheats who?
Do you think that the politicians lie to the people? Or do the people cheat the politicians?
“All I’m sure is: the politicians talk a lot of bullshit, promising this and that. They talk like the God Indra: they think that they can change the world in one night,” says I Made Apatis Celengis (I Made Very Apathetic).
“It’s local election fever in the village at the moment, not to mention in the palm toddy warung. No matter how heavy it rains, they are always excited to watch the debates among the candidates on television. They don’t need to worry about getting wet due to rain water splash as two giant billboards have been installed in front of the warung. It seems that the pictures of the ‘handsome’ candidates are able to scare the rain away’.
“Talking about promises: it seems that there will be no poor people in this world; they promise that if they are elected they can create welfare for the people, security is guaranteed, and no more natural disasters. Everybody smiles because of happiness,” adds I Made.
As a matter of fact, even when Yudistira was once a king of Astina, that kind of situation never really existed, not to mention the behaviour of many current politicians; “Yudistira face” (good-looking) but “Dursasana” character (evil heart).
“You are right, Dé, the politicians today are very good at acting like movie stars. If culture becomes an issue then they start to talk about culture, and claim that they are culture-lovers. If agriculture is the issue, they will talk about it and make programs that they claim are the best. As a matter of fact, they have never been to the rice-fields, so, how can they talk about agriculture?” I Wayan Praktis Kritis (I Wayan Practical and Critical) agrees with I Made’s opinion.
All of them have the same programs: It’s just like making ‘srombotan’ (mixed Balinese vegetable), taking a little bit of this, taking a little bit of that.
The results are the same. The people are bored with the politicians.
In addition, all of them indulge in money politics: All kinds of village associations are offered money, from village association (banjar), irrigation association (subak), youth association (sekeha teruna), ladies association, to cooperative association ― from the young to the old.
This situation makes a negative on the people’s mentality.
“They might not know that Balinese are not good at dealing with money: You know, even when they do not really have enough funds, they want to renovate their meeting hall (bale banjar) to be a two storey one. When they get money, they may demolish anything; they may even pave the cemetery.
Promises made by politicians have spoiled the mentality of the people. In future, they may ask the government for money for a facial, or a salon car, etc.
“Wait a minute, why do you blame the politicians. Aren’t we the one who often cheat them? Don’t we always get ‘blind’ when we are given money, and always want to be co-opted?” asks I Ketut Towal Towel. (I Ketut A Little of This A Little of That).
“Two days ago I saw Bli Madé come to the Regent’s office bringing a proposal for financial assistance and he promised to the incumbent candidate that he will mobilize people to vote the candidate. But just yesterday, I saw him visit the other candidate. He asked the candidate for billboards, T-shirts, money for meals and campaign operational costs. What happens, Bli (brother)? Why are you so greedy?” asks Ketut.
All the palm toddy association members laugh. I Made tries to be calm. Just this morning he also brought a proposal to the municipal office on behalf of Sekehe Ceki (Chinese Card Gambling Association). He wants to arrange a ‘Chinese Card Gambling Festival’. He has indeed made up a proposal: He thinks that if the proposal is approved, he can afford a Vario.
“Don’t always blame other people, brother. If all of us here are clean, why do we all wear T-shirts given by different candidates?
All the palm toddy members laugh. They can understand that during the election season one may use two or three different T-shirts with different colours and pictures of candidates at the same time. However, the most outer T-shirts they use are their own association T-shirts. And during the election season, all candidates will offer them financial assistance with different names.
“We can decide which T-shirt to use depending on which candidate visits us. When the candidate with a bold moustache comes, we will wear a T-shirt with his picture. If the candidate with sun glasses comes, we will wear a T-shirt with his as well. But when our wives come, then we just take off our T-shirts,” says I Made jokingly.
The conclusion is that during election season, politicians and people often playing games with each other.