Kamis, 24 Februari 2011

Bungklang Bungkling: Arisan oleh Wayan Juniartha

Diambil dari kolom ‘Bungklang Bungkling’, ‘Arisan’, di harian Bali Post, Minggu, 20 Februari 2011, oleh I Wayan Juniartha. Diterjemahkan oleh Putu Semiada

Arisan
Dalam hal urusan mencari uang, I Made Kredit Ngripit Makilit mempunyai banyak ide. Akan tetapi anehnya, idenya tidak pernah melibatkan uangnya sendiri, namun selalu melibatkan uang teman maupun tetangganya.
“Ide ini bagus sekali. Jika ini diikuti maka gampang sekali dan pasti menguntungkan bagi mereka yang ikut bergabung,” katanya lagi.
I Made sedang gencar-gencarnya ‘menjual’ gagasan tentang Arisan Ngaben dan aggota perkumpulan peminum tuak semuanya serius mendengarkan.
“Arisan ngaben ini jauh lebih aman dibandingkan koperasi, ingat apa yang terjadi dengan KKM (Koperasi Karangasem Membangun). Juga lebih aman dibandingkan asuransi semacam Balicon, serta jauh lebih aman daripada bank, seperti Bank Century.”
Yang ikut KKM dan Balicon nasibnya sudah seperti peternak paling malang di dunia; babi habis, pakan ternak habis, kandang rusak. Yang menabung di Century hingga saat ini tidak tahu uangnya dimana. Siapa yang melarikan uang dan dibawa kemana masih belu jelas.
Sedangkan arisan ngaben versi I Made ini berbasis kekeluargaan. Setiap bulan anggota arisan menyetor Rp. 100 ribu. Siapa yang akan menyelenggarakn ngaben bisa menarik uang. Jika belum ada yang ngaben, maka uang anggotanya akan dikelola oleh I Made, dipakai sebagai investasi yang berbasis kerakyatan.
“Uangnya bukan aku pakai untuk membangun hotel maupun main saham, namun akan dipakai untuk usaha yang bebasis kerakyatan, seperti menyelenggarakan sabungan ayam (tajen) dan mendirikan kafe remang-remang.”
Mereka semua manggut-manggut saja. Mereka menyadari naluri bisnis I Made memang hebat. Mana pernah ada orang yang mengadakan sabungan ayam merugi, pasti untung. Tidak terhitung bale banjar, pura dan fasilitas umum yang renovasinya memakai hasil sumbangan dari hasil penyelenggaraan sabungan ayam. Jika merugi jelas tidak bisa memberikan sumbangan.
Begitu pula halnya dengan kafe remang-remang. Modalnya kecil — pagar cukup berupa pagar hidup, tembok tidak perlu diplester, CO (Cewek Orderan) tidak perlu cantik, toh tidak ada yang akan terlalu memperhatikan karena lampunya remang-remang — listrik hemat, tidak perlu toilet, karena lokasinya biasanya di tempat yang lengang. Sehingga dimana saja buang air kecil tidak masalah. Modalnya kecil tetapi pemasukannya besar. Lelaki Bali jika sudah diajak lomba minum dan lelang bir, apalagi dengan diberi tepuk tangan dari CO yang susunya besar, maka mereka akan semakin kalap. Jangankan uang sendiri, bisa-bisa uang teman, dompet istri, sertifikat tanah orang tua, sampai uang dana punia pura pun bisa dipakai hanya untuk menuruti kesenangan. I Made senyum-senyum saja melihat krama sekaa tuaknya bengong mendengarkan idenya. Sepertinya sudah banyak yang tertarik dengan idenya.
“Bagaimana Yan, apakah kamu mau ikut?” I Made bertanya kepada I Wayan Klebit-Klebit.
“Masalahnya kedua orang tuaku sudah meninggal, begitu pula mertuaku. Mereka semua sudah diaben dan memukur dan kelinggihan menjadi Dewa Hyang. Apakah bisa ikut arisan meskipun tidak ada yang mesti aku abenkan?” I Wayan bertanya.
“Meskipun orang tua dan mertuamu sudah meninggal, kamu dan istrimu kan masih hidup. Minimal arisan ini bisa kamu pakai untuk upacara ngaben kamu sendiri dan istrimu. Bisa juga untuk pengabenan anak-anakmu. Jaman sekarang banyak sekali anak-anak muda Bali yang mati mendahului orang tua mereka, ada yang karena ngebut lantas menabrak, ada juga yang karena ditabrak truk, ada juga karena minum arak methanol, atau karena overdosis narkoba atau obat kuat.
Mereka semua manggut-manggut karena menyadari betapa fleksibelnya arisan I Made, bisa untuk dipakai mengaben orang lain, dan investasinya pasti menguntungkan.
Ini namanya menabung plus-plus, menabung sambil beryadnya sambil berinvestasi, pasti akan mendapat pahala, skala maupun niskala.
Mereka tampaknya semakin semangat. Semuanya semangat untuk menjadi anggota arisan.
“Maaf aku tidak bisa ikut. Sepertinya kok mengharapkan Ibuku cepat-cepat mati jika aku ikut arisan ini. Lebih baik uang 100 ribu itu aku gunakan untuk membelikan Ibuku bubur, supaya beliau tetap merasa senang. Jika sudah meninggal, sekalipun dibuatkan upacara ngaben yang besar maka dia tidak ada gunanya juga, karena yang sudah meninggal tidak bisa merasakannnya,” I Putu Sayong Bengong menyela.
Krama yang lain manggut-manggut saja. Benar juga apa yang disampaikan I Putu. Apa gunanya membuat upacara ngaben yang besar untuk orang tua kita jika selama hidupnya mereka tidak ada yang merawat?
“Singkat cerita, nih ambil uangku 200 ribu, tapi berikan aku narik langsung ya? Karena aku mesti mengabenkan dua orang,” I Komang Srandang-Srendeng menyela, sembari memberikan uang kepada I Made.
Mereka semua terkejut. Mereka tidak ada yang tahu kalau I Komang punya sawa (mayat) yang mesti diaben. Mereka juga tidak ada mendengar suara gendongan (kukul).
“Siapa yang akan kamu abenkan Mang?”
Cepat-cepat I Komang menjawab.
“Gayus Tambunan dan ketua FPI, ‘Habis Brisik’.”

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Arisan
I Made Kredit Ngripit Makilit (Stingey Creditor) has a lot of ideas about how to make money. The thing is : he never invests his own money; instead he takes advantage of his friends’ or neighbors’.
“This is a very good idea: you will get profit easily if you become a member.” says he.
Made is talking about his idea of having an “Arisan Ngaben”*. Everyone listens to him seriously.
“It’s much safer than putting your money in a cooperative. Remember what happens to KKM (Koperasi Karangasem Membangun)?** It’s much safer that putting your money in an insurance company like the BALICON***, or in a bank like the Century Bank.”
What happens to the members of KKM and Balicon is that they are like “the unluckiest pig breeders in the word”; they lose their pigs, the pig food, and they have their pigpen broken. In addition, customers with deposits at Century Bank never got their money back. Who took their money, and where it has been taken, nobody knows.
According to I Made, “Arisan Ngaben” is based on ‘family atmosphere. Each member must deposit Rp.100.000 a month. The member who has to carry out a cremation (ngaben), can withdraw the “arisan”, otherwise I Made will invest the money in a community-based businesses.
“I won’t use it for building hotels, or investing in the stock market, but more for “community based businesses” such as cockfight arenas and girly bars.”
Everyone nods. They are amazed by I Made’s business instinct. People always make a profit from carrying out cockfight gambling (matajen). Countless meeting hall (bale banjar) and temple constructions, and public facility renovations have been funded from the profit gained in cockfighting.
Also girly bars — with a small amount of capital to start, with living tree fences, no plastered walls, mediocre girls (as no one really pays attention during the evening as the lights are dim) — no power-consume, no need toilets as they are located in quiet places and visitors may pee anywhere. With a small amount of capital, one can make a big profit by running a girly bar.
The Balinese men feel proud of themselves when they compete with each other in drinking bee; with applause and support from bar girls with bulging breasts. Under these circumstances, one is happy to spend all of his money and even borrow from his friends and use his wife’s money or mortgage his parents’ land certificate if necessary. He may use money from donation (punia) for temple construction, too.
I Made just smiles seeing his friend likes his idea: Everybody seems interested.
“What do you think? Will you join?” I Made asks I Wayan Klebat Klebit (I Wayan Doubter).
“The problem is that my parents have died so have my parents-in-law. They all have been cremated and their souls have been purified to become ancestral gods (Dewa Hyang) as well. Is it okay to join the arisan even though I will have no corpse to be cremated?” ask I Wayan.
“It doesn’t matter if your parents and your parents-in-law have been cremated (aben). You are still alive, so is your wife. At least you can use the funds from the ‘arisan’ for your own cremation and your wife. It can be used for funding cremation for your children too. You know, lots of young Balinese boys and girls die before their parents do; some due to car accidents, or run over by trucks; some due to drinking too much palm wine (arak) mixed with methanol, some due to drug overdoses or take too many health supplements.
Everyone nods when they realize how flexible it is: It can be used for funding other people’s cremations and is quite a good investment.
“Well, this is what we call “saving plus plus” as it involves saving on yadnya (donation for religious matters), investing, good karma, (both worldly and heavenly).
Everyone now is eager to become a member.
“Sorry, I think I won’t join; If I did, It would feel like I expect my mother to die soon. It’s better for me to use my Rp.100.000 to buy her good and healthy food to make her feel happy. It makes no sense if you make her high funeral bier (bade) when she dies, as she won’t see it,” comments I Putu Sayong Bengong (I Putu Blank Expression).
Everyone nods as they think what I Putu says is right. What is a big cremation ceremony for our parents when we don’t take care them properly during their life.
“Well, I don’t have much to say, here is Rp. 200.000, just give me the first turn, will you? I need the funds to hold 2 cremation ceremonies,” interrupts I Komang Srandang Srendeng (I Komang Walking Slowly) while handing the money to I Made.
Everyone was startled as they all know I Komang has no corpse to cremate. And no one hears sound of kulkul (wooden drum) as a sign of somebody has died.
“Who are you going to cremate, Mang?”
I Komang quickly replies:
“Gayus Tambunan and Chairman of FPI,**** Habis Brisik.”*****
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Glossaries:
*Arisan Ngaben: social gathering among the Balinese whose members contribute to and take turns at winning an aggregate sum of money to use for funding a cremation.
**KKM: a cooperative body in Karangasem, East Bali that has been banned.
***BALICON: an insurance company who collects funds from customers and gives them much higher rate of interests than the banks. It has been banned last year. Lots of the customers’ funds have not been returned yet.
****FPI: Front Pembela Islam (Radical Militant Islamist Group).
*****Brisik: Noisy